Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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