I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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