found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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