He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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