she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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