Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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