I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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