we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize