btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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