think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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