$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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