my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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