i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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