Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize