I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize