The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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