Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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