Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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