Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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