having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
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HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
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He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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