so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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