I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize