My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize