I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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