I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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