im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize