Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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