last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize