I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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