I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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