She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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