3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Randomize