the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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