I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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