My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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