im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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