Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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