just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize