People in love make me want to vomit
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize