You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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