why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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