I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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