That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize