Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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