Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry about my life...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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