he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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