it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
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Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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