I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
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