Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize