The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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